This is my first time ever participating in a fantasy football league. When it started, I was pumped. I was confident, although I don’t really know why. I am the only girl in the league, and Girl Power was coursing through my veins. “I’m going to join this league and kick ass and show all these guys that girls can play fantasy sports too!” I AM WOMAN, HEAR ME ROAR!!!!
I am now 0-4, and I hate fantasy football. I don’t know what I was thinking. My team has been crippled by injuries, crybaby Quarterbacks (Jay Cutler, I HATE YOU!!), and bad decision-making on my part (I would be 2-2 right now if I had started and benched different players). Why didn’t anyone tell me that, instead of paying $100 to have a little fun and watch football, I would be paying $100 to have weekly bouts of uncontrolled rage and bitterness? As bad as I feel for myself, I feel worse for Michael, who has to listen to me complain and sulk every weekend. “I’m going to lose this week because my team STINKS. I hate fantasy football. Whatever, I don’t even care anymore. I give up.”
As a testament to my resilient spirit, the day after I claim to be giving up, I go back to the website to retool and try to pick up new players for my team. By Tuesday, I feel like I might have a shot at winning. Then, the weekend rolls around, and I inevitably suffer another crushing defeat. I don’t know how much longer I can keep bouncing back like this.
The worst part about being a fantasy football loser is that, instead of disproving a gender stereotype, I have reinforced it! I wanted to have a respectable showing in the hopes that the other guys in the league wouldn’t simply think, “Oh, I’m playing Rachel this week—that’s a guaranteed win.” Unfortunately, that is absolutely the case. I have failed women everywhere.