Dear Window Box Flowers,
It’s not you. It’s me.
I just don’t think that, at this point in my life, I am ready for such a committed relationship. I liked it when I first bought you at Home Depot and we were just having fun. Then it turned into all this watering after work. And I have to be honest with you—I never really got along with your friends, the weeds. Dealing with them on top of the constant watering became too much too fast.
Also, there’s someone else. His name is Dexter, and he is the main character in the Showtime series of the same name. We’ve been spending a lot of nights together recently. Four seasons’ worth, to be exact. He makes me forget about all of the watering and weed-pulling that I have to deal with when I come home to you.
As much as it hurts me to see you in pain, I think that the best thing for us will be a nice, long break. Maybe if we spend some time apart, we’ll be able to make it work next spring. All I want is happiness for you, Petunias and Four Marigolds. As for you, Geraniums and Other Six Marigolds, I’m sorry I killed you.
Hopefully by next year, I will be in a better place and more prepared for the responsibility.