Archive for January, 2011

I can’t wait until I get old so I’ll be able to carry around Werther’s Originals in my purse.

One could argue that nothing is stopping me from doing that now, but I already exhibit a bunch of old lady traits (i.e.: my increasing number of grey hairs and early bedtimes). So, I think it would be best to wait on the candy until I actually come to the appropriate age range.


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On Wednesdays, there is no reference librarian stationed at my library, so I’m charged with fielding both adult and children’s reference questions. A few minutes ago, a guy came in looking for a particular section of The Star Ledger from March of 2002. Apparently, the library does not have online access to back issues. So, I did some additional internet searching for him. I came up with a few months’ worth of stuff from 2002, but not the month he needed. I then searched the Rutgers library catalog and found that the Alexander Library should have what he wanted on microfilm. He said he had already investigated that route and would think about it. He thanked me for my help. Then he handed me this card.

This is the front.

This is the back.

This is how you thank your friendly neighborhood librarian? By telling me that the apocolypse is coming? Furthermore, I thought I had until December 2012 before the end of the world! Now you’re telling me it’s this May?! What a bummer.

You suck, guy.

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Yet another failure of Facebook’s direct marketing has been appearing on my Home screen as of late. I’m getting ads encouraging me to “Become a Librarian,” which are obviously derived from some sort of fill-in-the-blank system that has lifted information I’ve posted regarding my library school enrollment. Facebook, if you knew me at all, you would know that I have already become a librarian—a whole year ago! More importantly, though: if you know librarians at all, you should know that they certainly do not look like this!

I did a quick Google image search of the word “librarian” to find a more appropriate example of the typical librarian and settled on the one below. Perhaps “degreesonlinetoday.com” should try customizing their images a little more in order to better sell their online degrees.

Of course I am making a broad generalization. Not all librarians look like this. But a lot do.

On a separate note, the Google image search also turned up a decent amount of librarian-related erotica. I thought this one was particularly exceptional.

Even with a lifetime of hard work and determination, I doubt I will ever be able to become half the librarian that this woman was.

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A Moron in the Snow

Yesterday morning, to my delight, I looked out the window only to see James attempting to sweep the new-fallen snow from out in front of his car with—you guessed it—a broom. Michael thinks that he refuses to use either of the two snow shovels that are kept in the basement because neither of them belong to him, and it’s some sort of pride thing. I think he’s just a lazy dirtbag that didn’t want to shovel snow. Regardless, the fact of the matter is he opted for the broom. I didn’t think to grab my camera and capture the whole process until after he was done sweeping. At this point, I think he thought he did a sufficient job and would then be able to get out of his spot. Here he is, about to get in the car.

Time: 7:43 am

Rolling back and forth, trying to get some momentum going. Time: 7:46 am

Almost there, but could go no further. Time: 7:46 am

Then, he sat in the car for 10 whole minutes not doing anything. Maybe he was thinking about how much of a moron he is.

Time of defeat: 7:56 am

He did eventually get out, although I don’t know how—and then the Plow Boy came about 5 minutes later and plowed the whole driveway. HA!

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I’ve been listening to the audiobook version of To Kill a Mockingbird. Great book. Similar to Mark Twain’s The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, the N word is pretty prevalent in the text. So, my question is: what’s stopping guys like Alan Gribben (English professor at Auburn University in Alabama, rewriter of American literature, champion of political correctness?) from whitewashing Harper Lee’s classic too? I think a very dangerous precedent has been set here.

It’s a slippery slope, people.

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“Listening to Cio Cio San.” I saw this relatively obscure reference to track # 7 of Weezer’s Pinkerton in a friend’s Facebook status the other day. Once I started thinking about the song (El Scorcho), it led me to post my own little reference: “I’ll bring home the turkey if you bring home the bacon.” Still thinking about it later in the day, I pulled up some of the songs on YouTube and started listening to them at work. But even today, two days later, I still had the urge to listen to the album in its entirety, which is what I did on my way to work. Almost twice, actually, thanks to today’s 55 minute drive.

I usually tell people that my favorite Weezer album is always a toss up between The Blue Album and Pinkerton, depending on my mood at the time. Well, this week, Pinkerton is, hands-down, my favorite. I try to be fair to their new stuff (I downloaded Hurley, and I think I listened to about 85% of it), but it truly does not come close to touching their first two albums. I’ve said it before and I will say it again. Pinkerton is a rough around the edges album with songs about pining for Japanese girls and failed relationships. Hurley is power pop with songs about how Rivers Cuomo wishes he wasn’t so old.

Well, this sucks—I tried to embed a few songs from YouTube, but they won’t play directly on the blog. Here are the links…I was going to present these in the context of that old Sesame Street song, “One of these things is not like the other, one of these things doesn’t belong…”

Weezer – El Scorcho (Pinkerton)
Weezer – Across the Sea (Pinkerton) <— probably my favorite one on the album
Weezer – In the Mall (Raditude)

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