Archive for April 13th, 2010

Idea #1,093

I have loads of ideas, most of which are brilliant. Many are for inventions—and of those, about half wind up being invented by someone else down the road, while the other half turn out to be (unfortunately) already in existence. The other ideas pertain to everything else: new businesses, alterations to existing businesses, and general changes to society as a whole.

This morning, as I was getting ready for work, I had another one. I thought that, instead of just Happy Meals, McDonalds should make additional value meals that encompass more emotions. This way, they could form a more emotional attachment to the customers. Obviously, these meals would not be limited to children, and would hopefully appeal to a wide range of adults. There could be Sad Meals, Angry Meals, Excited Meals, Bored Meals, the list just goes on. Each meal could then contain a little something that pertains to each mood (this is where it may start to get expensive). For example, the Sad Meal could have a personalized napkin that says, “Keep your chin up!” and would maybe come with an automatic dessert, since people like to eat sweets when they’re feeling down. Bored Meals could come with a little toy, like silly putty or something, to keep people occupied when they go back to work. Angry Meals could include a stress ball, or a little plastic inflatable pillow that people can then blow up and punch.

Not only could this idea be good for McDonalds, but it could also help Big Brother get a read on large chunks of the population. I know that sounds kind of evil, but it’s not like The Man isn’t already watching us anyway. Since so many people eat fast food, statistics could be taken to get a reading on the mental states of large groups of people. They could be used the same way those Consumer Outlook studies are used to analyze stock market trends. In short, these value meals could quickly become a cornerstone of the global economy.

Thoughts? I welcome constructive criticism, and if I like your input enough, I may give you a cut of the profits if the idea does ever blossom into existence.


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