I feel like on so many occasions, no matter what I do over the course of my life, I keep ending up right back in places I’ve already been. Take, for instance, the completion of school. Back in May of 2007, I was getting ready to graduate from TCNJ. I think I sent out about 35 or so resumes, most of which I never heard back on, while a handful of employers were gracious enough to send back a “No thanks.” Job searching is the absolute worst—and here I am, a year and a half later, in the exact same boat. Only this time, I haven’t even had the opportunity to send out 35 resumes, because there are no jobs! Anyway, I thought it would be most appropriate to re-post a blog that I wrote in 2007, as a way to celebrate the wonderful phenomenon of coming full circle. Enjoy.
Dear Hiring Manager,
My interest in the advertised Traveling Birthday Clown position has prompted me to forward my resume to you. I am currently a senior at The College of New Jersey and will be graduating in May with a Bachelor’s degree in journalism. I am very excited about this position at Clowns “R” Us, and hope to be considered for it.
Okay, look, I’m going to level with you. I have been searching for jobs for a while now. I have sent out countless resumes, all to no avail. I am starting to consider myself to be a genuine failure and, honestly, if I don’t get a call back for an interview at Clowns “R” Us, I might just have to kill myself. Now that you know a little bit more about what makes me tick, please allow me to sell myself to you. Despite my inability to find employment in my target job market, I am still quite confident that I would prove to be an outstanding addition to your clown roster.
First of all, I would be great at birthday parties. I LOVE kids. I spent an entire summer working as an Athletics Specialist at a summer camp, and loved every minute of it. The children took a real liking to me as well. Although I was not invited back the following summer, I was assured that this was due purely to budget cuts and not the fact that I had been accused of dousing children with cups of water during my endless tennis sessions. Although these allegations were completely outrageous, I would say in my defense that those kids had it coming (even though I never did it).
I am also an expert at applying makeup, which would easily transfer to a great ability to apply face paint. As a matter of fact, after I put on my makeup, my friends often tell me that I look like a clown. The way I see it, I’m halfway there already—I just need some big shoes and I’ll be set! I am not extremely experienced in making balloon animals, but I am a very fast learner. I am also no stranger to plunging my face into pies. Granted, I have never performed this feat in front of an audience before. I just really love pie. I believe that all of these qualities will make me an exceptional candidate for this position.
I am looking forward to a bright future at Clowns “R” Us! I am all that a Traveling Birthday Clown should be, and much, much more! I hope to hear from you soon!