An open letter to all girls who attend Rutgers University and ever find themselves walking down College Avenue:
Please, for the love of Uggs (you still like those, right?), do your best to refrain from taking up the entire sidewalk when you’re walking around New Brunswick with your stupid friends. I know how important it is to have your little posse, or whatever you kids are calling it these days, but you need to learn how to function in situations that do not allow you to travel in packs everywhere you go. I can’t tell you how many times I have been face to face with three or four of you, all walking side by side, who absolutely refuse to break your formation for anyone walking in the opposite direction. Why must I be the one that always has to divert onto the grass?! Where do you get this false sense of entitlement that all others must yield to YOU?
I get it. You’re cool and in college. You have lots of friends (probably about 600 on Facebook alone!). Life is just the best right now, and what better way to express your carefree lifestyle than parading around town with a squadron of BFFs? Regardless, let me tell you this. I have run out of patience. The last time I encountered some of you, I stared down the one who was directly in my way, stood my ground, and she wound up moving just enough so that our shoulders brushed as I passed. She’s lucky I didn’t knock her back into high school, which is what I had to keep myself from doing during that infuriating incident. Be advised. If (read: when) this happens again, watch out. Starting now, I move for no one.
I hate you.